A spiritual midwife witnesses and supports the process involved in birthing a life. I’m deeply honored by those that choose to take this journey with me. People are called to work with me during times of change. Together, we develop a birth plan for supporting the true callings of the heart to be healed and heard. Each path is so distinct and beautiful. David Whyte often speaks to the struggles and joys of living life on this level – awake and engaged. In his poem, What to Remember When Waking, he reminds us:
You are not a troubled guest on this earth,
you are not an accident amidst other accidents
you were invited from another and greater night
than the one from which you have just emerged.
At times, we can find ourselves overwhelmed by the intensity and uncertainty of the process. We may doubt our worthiness. We may even fear the outcome wondering who we will be on the other side. Will it mean losing friends if we follow our heart’s desire? Will our marriage or family suffer if we let go of the plans we had for our picket fence life in exchange for future skies?
What can we do to support ourselves during these times of change? I find that keeping a few things present in our hearts and mind can be essential when in the throws of the pain of our “lifebirth”.
- You are more than your thoughts. Before you get too far down that road of worry, fear or despair, remember that resistance comes in all forms. It especially loves to tell you all kinds of things to sabotage the process of change. It sends thoughts of fear, rationalization, and all kinds of stories to keep you spinning your wheels and running from birthing your authentic life. If you want to read more on resistance, check out The War of Art by Steven Pressfield.
- Trust the process. Just like the birth of a child, remember that so many others have been here before you and will be there after you move through. You can do this. I’ve seen it over and over again in my own life and the life of my clients.
- Check in. Where are your feet? Simple. It’s just what it says. Where are you right now? In this moment, where are your feet? Breathe. Feel yourself grounded on this earth. Get on all fours if you need more grounding. Breathe some more. The physical body can be a tremendous anchor when our thoughts have pulled us off track.
- Your body knows how to do this. But it can’t show you if you’re 10 steps ahead of it. Draw from practices that support your body’s knowing like yoga, dance, qi gong, hiking, whatever speaks to you. But make sure it’s something that helps you stay present to the body. If a yoga class feels loud and distracting, find something that slows you down.
- Being afraid or uncertain is okay. Fear and uncertainty are normal in this process. They’re typically not very illuminating other than to let you know you’re in the digging deep process. Mindfulness practices can bring greater tolerance when uncomfortable feelings come up.
- Being excited is okay. You’re turning all of this old stuff into gold, honey! It is exciting!
- Hold your own council. Ultimately, you are the wisdom source that will bring you through. Loving and consistent support is essential but you’re doing the birthing. Yup, you. Part of this process is remembering that this wisdom was wired into your genes. It’s in the star stuff that makes up you. You’re going to remember that you are one amazing teacher and counselor to yourself.
- Lighten up but dig deep. Take party and play breaks. The immune system loves play. This can be a tough one for a lot of us. Many of us who are drawn to deeper work also tend to analyze and take life pretty seriously. No need to judge or change any of that. It’s just that much more important for us to deliberately make time for fun and to add a light touch to life.
- Tell yourself the truth. Acknowledge where you are and what you’re feeling. Name it and make space for it.
Finally, this is what you were born to do.
To be human is to become visible
while carrying what is hidden as a gift to others.
To remember the other world in this world
is to live in your true inheritance.